Goldfish Don't Bounce
by thejennamonster
Summary: A collection of moments within the lives of the cast. Rated for some swearing. Summaries suck.FINALLY UPDATED!
1. Gaz

A/n: So I'm sitting here, sick and bored and drugged up on too much Nyquil and decided that I should let my hands type for a bit and see what happens. I just thought it might be fun to put myself in each character's head for a little to see how much I like it there. This will be four chapters long, and I may get all four done tonight and put up, but I doubt it. No, I'm not ignoring YOLT, which is really what I should be working on, but after finishing up FPL today, I really just needed to give my brain a rest from complex plot. At any rate, I'm gonna stop rambling, now. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Do I look like Jhonen? Thought not.

Goldfish Don't Bounce.

PART ONE: Gaz.

He was talking again, his voice just droning on and on, seemingly completely unaware of the fact that I was not, under any circumstances, listening to a single word he had to say. Nor was I even interested in the subject matter. In fact, his very presence was grating on my nerves and I would have started walking faster had I not known that I would have to deal with his blathering once we got home, anyhow. It was better to put up with it now and have him run out of stamina early than have him ruin my concentration tonight. I was on the last level of Kick Ass Fighting Game VI for my at home consol, and there was no way I was going to let him distract me from my victory. The idiot.

"Did you notice Zim acting funny today, Gaz?" My brother asked. I could feel my annoyance grow as I accidentally hit the wrong button on my GameSlave, causing my midget piggy killer to become damaged. Why did Dib still have to walk with me home every day? He was 17 for Christ's sake, why couldn't he just drive like a normal person? Oh yeah, cos that would require some level of normalcy. I forgot.

"I bet he's up to something," he continued, oblivious to the fact that he was really only speaking to himself, "I should go over there tonight and spy on him. See what he's planning."

"You do that." I mumbled in response. Honestly, what the hell was Dib's boner over Zim, anyhow? Yeah, sure, so the guy was an alien. Big deal. There's no way that stupid little green moron was going to ever take over the earth. It just wasn't going to happen. The world was completely safe, but my brother just couldn't realize that. How did he think he was supposed to be some great paranormal investigator, seeking out and exposing the unexplainable, when he couldn't see five feet beyond his own personal delusional bubble?

And you know, Dib was still annoying before Zim arrived—he had been attached to my hip ever since Mom's car accident—but at least _then_ the subject matter varied. While he was still obsessed with that paranormal junk, some of his ramblings on Big Feet or ghosts were kind of interesting. But for the past 5 years it was just Zim this and Zim that. I was so tired of hearing that stupid kid's name come from my stupid brother's stupid mouth. And he wondered why he didn't have any friends. Sheesh.

"—Zim's base. Hey, you should come with me!" Dib brought my focus back to him once again and I stopped dead on the sidewalk. He had to be kidding me.

"You have to be kidding me."

He stopped as well, turning to face me, a moronic grin on his face, "It makes perfect sense, Gaz! You could be my decoy, my distraction! C'mon!"

There was no way. "No." I stated, starting to walk again. He paused for a few seconds, taking in my rejection before hurrying to catch back up with me.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" He asked.

Honestly, sometimes that boy could be so dense. "What do you think I mean by 'no'? I mean I'm not doing it."

"Oh, c'mon, Gaz, with your help, I have the perfect plan! The gnomes never bother you, Gir is crazy about you—you're the perfect distraction."

"Gir is crazy in general, and no." I tried to block out his whining by raising the volume on my GameSlave. He didn't get the hint.

"Please, Gaz, I need you." He was really starting to get pitiful, now. I felt a familiar wave of anger and annoyance.

"What you need is to shut up before I kick your ass for not knowing when to give up. No." I growled.

"What else did you have planned tonight? It couldn't hurt you to help me this one time."

"If you must know, I have a date with the last level of Kick Ass Fighting Game VI. Victory has eluded me long enough and tonight I am going to finally beat it. No. If you ask again I am going to break your nose."

"You can beat that game, anytime! This has to happen tonight! Tomorrow it may be too late!"

I raised my eyes from my game to glare at him. He flinched back instinctively, assuming I was going to make good on my threat to break his nose. Again. Ok, so the first time was an accident—I didn't know he was walking towards the door when I opened it that one day, effectively bashing his face in, but still. The fact that I stuck fear into the heart of my older and much stronger brother made some dark, angry part of me smile.

"Ok, wait, lemme think…" I paused for dramatic effect, watching as his eyes lit up in hope, and then continued, "No."

The light faded, but still he was relentless. "The fate of the world may be at stake!"

We finally had reached our house. Thank god. His pathetic pleas were becoming too much, the anger within me growing to a point where I didn't know if I could control it anymore. As I turned the key in the lock, I decided that I didn't feel like controlling it at that moment, and I spun around to face my brother.

"No, the fate of the world is _not_ at stake, Dib." I hissed, the dark part of me grinning madly in my brain, "Even if Zim _weren't_ a complete failure at Invading or whatever the hell he is supposed to be doing here, your pathetic little plans couldn't stop an invasion of ants, nevertheless some 'advanced' alien race. You are a moron and you're annoying the hell out of me, so for the last time, no."

I saw the hurt in his eyes as my words hit him, his entire body seeming to deflate under their hateful tone, and that dark part started laughing. Without another word I turned and walked into the house, shutting and locking the door behind me, leaving my brother alone on the stoop. After a moment's thought I realized that I had the keys to the house and I had just locked him out. A small, mostly unused part of me whispered that I should at least unlock the deadbolt so that he could come inside, but the darkness overruled it, scoffing. Fuck it, he can find his own way back into the house.

I decided to make a sandwich instead.

--

A/n: Well, that was completely different than what I was originally thinking. I kinda wanted to show some kind of deep seated compassion in Gaz, maybe showing why she is the way she is, but in reality…she's just kind of a bitch. At least here she is. For some reason, today my brain just wouldn't garner any sympathy for her. This story is going to just be a collection of moments, and in this moment, Bitch Gaz wins out.

Oh well.

R and R, people, please?

-j


	2. GIR

A/n: So, If anyone is familiar with the book _Flowers For Algernon_ then you know the basic idea here and will understand the horrible grammar and spelling mistakes. It was as painful to write as it prolly is to read, I assure you.

DISCLAIMER: Nyquil causes hallucinations, but I still don't think I own Zim. Sucks.

Goldfish Don't Bounce

PART TWO: Gir.

DATE: 45.66784.246 SIT

pig told me that master thinx im stupid. I told him that he was being sily and that masters masters sayd that im advansed wich I lookd up and meens that im beter then most SIRS. pig still sayd that master thinx that im bad the way i am cos i like tacos and rolllin around in the dert. i told him that tacos are yumy and that master luvs me how i am and that pig was sily cos he likes rollin in the dert to.

DATE: 45.66784.247 SIT

maybe pig was rite about master thinkin im stupid. he came up to me today and told me he was goin to upgrade my inteligense chip to make me smarter. he sayd that i will help him on his mishin beter if I culd focus on it and not run off and play with pig so much. i told him that it was fun to play with pig and he told me that we wernt heer for fun and that it wuld make him hapy if i was smarter. i told him ok cos i want him to be hapy but i want to play with pig and eat tacos to. if i cant do that i will be sad bit its ok cos i will be more helpful and that will make me hapy to.

DATE: 45.66784.248 SIT

master gave me lots of tests today. i must have faild them becuz he lookd mad all the time. he told me that i need to stop being distraktd by things. he took me into the hologram room and made me chuz between fitein the big hed boy and eatin hot dogs. i kept eatin dogs becuz theyr yumy and i like the big hed boy. i dont want to fite him. master yeld at me and i told him that him and the big hed boy shud be frendz cos maybe he wuld help cos the humans are meen to him and he shudnt be nise to peeple who are meen. master yeld at me and told me to go play with pig and we wud finish this tomarow. i waz sory that i made master mad so i made him a cupcake insted of playin with pig. he sayd that it waz ok and that soon i wud be fixd and then he wud be hapy. i want him to be hapy. i hope i am fixd soon.

DATE: 45.66784.249 SIT

Master gave me the furst of my upgrades today. He sayd that he lernd his lesin last time he tried to fix me and will do it slow this time so I dont break more. He ran anuther test and thiz time I only ate the hot dogz half the time and Master waz still angry but not as much as he was yesturday. That made me hapy. He sayd he waz going to reward me and so we went to the parc and I got to run around and play with the humans. I ate one humans frisbea and he got mad and then cried which made me sad but my Master laughd and laughd so I guess thats a gud thing. I told Pig that be being smarter wuld be gud.

DATE: 45.66784.252 SIT

Another upgrade, today. Master had to wait a few dayz before giving me anuther one because the big heded boy came over and tried to get into the base again. I reely don't understand why the two of them have to fite all the time. I know that we have a mishin and that Master and me are suposed to be taking over the erth and destroying the humans, but the big heded boy is a good human. I like him and his scary sister. She dances with me and plays games with me and that makes me hapy. I wish my Master and the big heded boy would be hapy. As much as Master says that he hates the big heded boy, I think that he would be sad if they stoped playing together, that's why they never reely hert each other that bad.

DATE: 45.66784.258 SIT

The final upgrade was completed this afternoon. My master had sent me out on an information retrieval mission this afternoon and, as I have done before, I traveled to the local library and uploaded as much information that I could (although this time I did so without destroying any property and jeopardizing the mission, thankfully). Master was very pleased with my findings and my progress and he offered to take me to the park again as a reward, but I declined because there is still so much to do. Many of the other SIRS' Masters have already fulfilled their mission and yet my Master and I have barely even begun. There are times when I wonder if he really even _wants_ to take over this planet—not that I blame him. As primitive as the creatures that inhabit this place are, they are still so…complex and interesting and…resilient. With everything that has occurred throughout the history of this world, you would think that all life would have been destroyed by now, but somehow these creatures find a way. It's very unnerving. I must learn more.

DATE: 45.66784.264 SIT

Research completed. Conclusion: with the way that the humans currently live, they shall wipe themselves out in exactly 138.35 earth years. To the humans, with their limited life spans, this is an eternity, but for my master it would seem like nothing, seeing as how one Irk year encompasses 80 of the Earth's. I informed Master of this and he seemed both excited and strangely bothered by the information. Again I wonder if he is entirely focused on the mission at hand, and again, I do not blame him if he is less than adamant. He has decided, however, to use the information to the advantage of the mission, and I have created the records needed for him to go into the field of Politics. His run for Skool presidency has made him familiar with the process and using the information gathered then, I have devised a fool proof plan rig the upcoming election in President Land in his favor. Using this position of power, he will put forth the proper chain of events to expedite the human's natural extinction at their own hands.

Post note: Pig says it I'm not "fun" anymore, since I was fixed.

DATE: 45.66784.279 SIT

The Master's plan has been set in motion with very little problem. Subject Dib made an attempt at infiltrating the base. He was stopped. Master was pleesed and rewarded me. However, I dont remember what i did to deserve the reward. There seems to be a gap in my memory records from a short time after Subject Dib entered the premises until hours after he was ejected. Perhaps a glitch in my mainframe? I shall run a diagnostic.

Post note: i miss pig.

DATE: 45.66784.285 SIT

There is a problem with the upgrades. It seems my mainframe is not as "advanced" as my master's leaders would have liked him to think. It is not fit to handle the upgraded programming my master has given me.

Conclusion: complete reversion.

Timeframe: unknown.

DATE: 45.66784.286 SIT

attempt made to inform Master of reversion process. He told me his upgrade was flawless. Refused to acknowlage diagnostic report. Conclusion: master's confidence is too high.

He intrusted me with the virus disk created to turn the election results in his favor. In erth five days time, i must fly to President Land and uplink to its central computer. Using the disk I will upload the virus and falsified information, putting the plan into motion. This is a large responsibility. i hope that i dont lose my intelligense in that time.

DATE: 45.66784.289 SIT

me and pig at waffles today. They were yummy. master told me that tomorrow we will go to President land to prepare the final steps of the plan. He will make his final campain speech and i will give the computer a cold. i dont want to make the computer sick, tho. i dont like being sick. maybe i will bring the computer some waffles.

DATE: 45.66784.290 SIT

president land is pretty. lots of people. they think im cute and give me candy. i like candy. master is excited about the plan. he gave a speech today to the humans. they cheered and cheered and liked him. He was hapy. I tell him maybe i dont have to give the computer a cold cos the humins like him so much and he told me that nothing can ruin his chance for world domination. dib came to president land too and tried to yell at master during his speech, but the police people took him away. he was sad. tomorrow I have to talk to the computer. I like making new friendz.

DATE: 45.66784.291 SIT

i found a shiny silver cookie in my hed so i ate it. it tasted like plastic. i like plastic. i talked to the computer. it was nice. i wish i had another cookie. shiny plastic tasting cookies are gud.

DATE: 45.66784.292 SIT

master didnt win the elekshun. hes sad. the big heded boy laffed. master yeled at me and told me I mesed up. that made me cry but then he said something about listening to me before and he let me play with piggy instead of yelling more. i like pig. hes my friend.

00000

A/n: And so, after over a year, I finally update this story. I had written a good chunk of this part when I put up Gaz's part, and then just got distracted and didn't finish it. Finishing something started so long ago feels weird and I hope it didn't mess up the flow at all. I don't like this part as much as I do the first one, but the last two, whenever I have the time to get to them, should be back up to par.


End file.
